JASON, OUR HEARTS WENT WITH YOU...

       

 NO AMOUNT OF TIME...WILL EVER MAKE THE HEART... 
                                        THE SAME...AGAIN

 

THE ABSENCE OF JASON IS EVERYWHERE

     AS LONG AS I CAN DREAM, AS LONG AS I CAN THINK
     AS LONG AS I HAVE MEMORY......I WILL LOVE YOU.
     AS LONG AS I HAVE EYES TO SEE AND EARS TO HEAR
     AS LONG AS I HAVE LIPS TO SPEAK...I WILL LOVE YOU.
     AS LONG AS THERE IS TIME, AS LONG AS I HAVE A BREATHE 
  TO SPEAK YOUR NAME....I WILL LOVE YOU! JASON, WE LOVE YOU.


   Full of laughter, life, love and fun

killed: just email me.   Thank you
                              
      YOU SHOULD BE HERE WITH US JASON

We visit with Jason all the time. However, we drive to the cemetary
to see him. To see your child's name etched on a headstone still feels
like a punch in the stomache. His name should be on a diploma, a
wedding invitation, a birth announcement, a business card anything
BUT NOT A HEADSTONE.

           Remember Jason (Forever 18)

           Remember him with a smile today
           He was not one for sadness
           Remember instead the memories
           Of all the happy times
           Recall to mind the way he spoke
           And all the things he said
           His strengths, his voice, the way he walked
           Remember these instead
           His eyes always shined with laughter
           So much of him will never die
           But live on forever after
           As we loved you, so we miss you 
           In our memory you are near
           Loved, remembered, longed for always
           Bringing many a silent tear

NO FEAR: HE'S RIDING THE CLOUDS
             A life so young released to heaven....
             Left on earth we wonder "why?"
            But some are sent among us briefly...
            Some have spirits meant to fly 
            
         DEEPLY LOVED, PAINFULLY MISSED
It has been said, time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The
wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its SANITY,
covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is
                never gone...never gone

            
                         
                My heart stopped . . . with yours

      
                     TEARS WITHOUT END 
                     DAYS WITHOUT NIGHTS
                     NIGHT WITHOUT DAY 
                     TIME WITHOUT FORGETTING
                     FOOD WITHOUT TASTE
                     SLEEP WITHOUT REST
                     SORROW WITHOUT COMFORT
                     PAIN WITHOUT LIMIT
                     EMPTINESS WITHOUT BOTTOM
                     LIFE WITHOUT JASON

     

                             WE ARE NOT..............
   
                                             

     GOD RIPPED OUT OUR HEARTS......

AND THEN SAID GO ON AND LIVE NOW
         
We have lost our son. A fun, lovable boy who was only 18
years old. Jason died alone on the street without me (his mom),
or his dad by his side. We did not get to say goodbye. We did not
get to hold his hand. We did not get the chance to tell him one 
final time that we love him or, most importantly, not to be afraid. 
           A Tragic End to a Young Life
                          
 IF LOVE ALONE COULD HAVE SAVED YOU,   
          YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE DIED

          
  Jason is dead. It is still shocking to hear myself say it. There
  was nothing wrong with him. He was not sick. He was not old.
  He was a teenager. How could he be dead? He was active, he
  was healthy and so full of life. He was only 18. But life did not
  leave him on its own; his life was taken from him. It ended in
  a horrible way. He didn't just die; he was killed. Even saying
  he was in an accident is too kind. Dead..What a gut-wrenching
  word. One word that can literally make me sick. We did not
  loose Jason - we know where his body is laid to rest. To say
  he's gone implies he willingly went somewhere and may come
  back. Well, we have lost Jason and he is gone and the fact is:
  HE IS DEAD. He will not be coming back home. We will not 
  see him, hear him, touch him. His life here is over, it has  
  ended. That's it. No more. There was a past, but there is
  no future. Tomorrow will not be.....END OF STORY....

             

       I AM SO TIRED....
       I am tired of crying for my child.
       I am tired of being depressed.
       I am tired of longing for my child.
       I am tired of not being happy.
       I am tired of telling people my son is dead.
       I am tired of my son being dead.
       I am tired of not being able to remember what joy feels like.
       I am tired of being angry.
       I am tired of feeling guilty.
       I am tired of missing my son.
       I am tired of being told it is a blessing I have an angel in heaven.
       I am tired of being misunderstood.
       I am tired of having to explain myself.
       I am so tired of death.
       I am tired of grieving.
       I am tired of grief.
       I am tired of asking why.
       I am tired of not getting an answer.
       I am tired of having to learn to live without Jason.
       I am tired of being indirectly told to "get over it".
       I am tired of reliving the night of his death over & over
         complete with tears and the emotional upheaval.
       I am tired of endless hours at the cemetery.
       I am tired of that street corner.
       I am soooo tired of not being able to remember...
       Every moment of my son's life.
       I am tired of being tired.                
                              
           
There are no words to describe the depth of our heartache
since Jason was so tragically killed. Our grief is overwhelming
and our son will remain forever locked in our broken hearts.
          
WE MUST NOW BEGIN THE LIFELONG JOURNEY 
OF ACCEPTING THE UNACCEPTABLE:  THE DEATH
OF OUR SON. JASON, YOU ARE LOVED FOREVER
AND ALWAYS UNTIL THE END OF TIME.
          
JASON MAY NOT HAVE BEEN HERE FOR A LONG
     TIME, BUT HE DID HAVE A GOOD TIME.
       
  MY TIME WAS SHORT, AND I LIVED LIFE 
 FAST, BUT WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE: 
              I REALLY HAD A BLAST!!!  

                                
As my life was ending tears fell from my eyes for all my life
I'd always thought I didn't want to die.I had so much to live
for, so much left to do. It seemed almost impossible that I was
leaving all of you
   
 A Real Friend is Hard to Find, Difficult to

            Leave and Impossible to Forget
         
      If you knew Jason: you know it was all about his friends, 
      motorcycles, dirt bikes, atvs, and riding, lifted trucks -
      it had to be high (really high) and it had to be loud, 
      the wheels, the rims, the size of the tires, his friends, 
      4-wheeling, sand, mud, and did I mention ALL OF HIS
      FRIENDS and hanging out!! *his friends were most
      important and above all else*  and don't forget: the hair!!!
 
          HE DIDN'T JUST RIDE HE COULD FLY
                     
 We miss you so much, JASON, because....
              there's so much to miss. 
                 
                                       
   favorite LBZ cap,  always worn backwards
          
I DROPPED A TEAR IN THE OCEAN...WHEN THEY FIND IT...
           THAT'S WHEN I'LL STOP REMEMBERING YOU
        
        WE WERE BLESSED YOU WERE OURS 
                    IF ONLY FOR A WHILE
               
TO THE WORLD YOU ARE ONE PERSON,BUT TO US 

                    YOU ARE THE WORLD
                                 
   Bury your child and you bury your heart
If you are lucky enough to be living a happy life, how
wonderful for you. Plan your child's funeral, pick out 
a coffin; everything changes. Not one aspect of your
former life remains the same. Loose your child and 
you loose absolutely everything. Maybe in 10, 20 
years I will feel okay, but for now this is how it is. 
    I can remember the happiness, but I  
                 can't feel it anymore  

                   
        
I have lost a life-not my own, but it would have
been easier to have lost my own life than to have
lost the life I loved more than my own, JASON

                                    
          
             
                                                           
There is neither force nor foe that can ever remove the 
love we have for our children.
                                                  
WE ARE HERE, YOU & ME, SIDE BY SIDE FOR ALWAYS

You will always be my dad...as I sit and look down 
from the heavens above, I point at you and proudly   
say:  "look, look, over there, that's him:  
                     THAT'S MY DAD"
                

When this road gets lonely and the journey seems too hard & I get to feeling sick inside that I didn't get a card-If I close my eyes I can almost hear you say, "I love you DAD & I miss you ~ Happy Father's Day                         
    DEAR GOD:  PLEASE KISS MY SON GOODNIGHT
                                                                         
                               

             

NO MATTER HOW FAR                          
              
JASON & ED WERE MORE THAN FATHER & SON. THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS
                          WHEN JASON WAS KILLED, ED NOT ONLY
                                     LOST HIS ONE & ONLY SON
                    HE WAS ROBBED OF HIS BEST BUDDY FOR LIFE
   AND THAT WILL BREAK MY HEART FOR ED & FOR JASON FOREVER
       WE WALKED TOGETHER YOU AND I, A FATHER AND HIS SON
                          WE TALKED, WE LAUGHED, WE LIVED
                 WE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS FOR TOMORROW...
                              BUT TOMORROW DIDN'T COME
   WE WALKED TOGETHER YOU AND I, BUT ONLY FOR A SHORT TIME
                 FOR ALL TOO SOON IT ENDED LEAVING PIECES OF A
                                   BROKEN HEART BEHIND

                   
            
                              
 Allison, forever a sister to Jason--must now live
                          without her brother
       WHERE ARE YOU? PLEASE COME BACK HOME,
DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE. JASON, LIFE WITHOUT
YOU HERE JUST ISNT  THE SAME.YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY
AND I MISS YOU MORE EVERY PASSING DAY. WHY DID
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE? ONE DAY DEATH TOOK YOU 
                AWAY FROM ME. JASON I LOVE YOU.
                                        MY BROTHER 
                                     NOW IN HEAVEN
                        
                                             
  You are my brother not by choice, but by the
   nature of our birth. I could not have chosen
  a better one,you are the best there is on earth 

                        
           There is always a face before me

              

**************************************************               
           OH!!  THE PAIN OF NOT SAYING GOODBYE
**************************************************
              
Dear God,            
I know that Jason is home in heaven with you. I ask that you watch 
over him. Please send extra angels to help him adjust to being in
heaven and away from us. We are all here and he is not. He is alone.
He is young. He may need help. All I can do is pray. Is that enough? 
He did not want to leave us. With my last breath I beg of you to take
care of him. He was a good boy, a loving son and a great brother. 
Please send me a sign from heaven so I know Jason is in your hands.
                     Love from his broken-hearted mom
                                     
 A HEART OF GOLD STOPPED BEATING, TWO SHINING EYES AT REST
   GOD BROKE OUR HEARTS TO PROVE:  HE ONLY TAKES THE BEST!     
**********************************************************

                    
            "WHAT DID I DO WRONG"

What did I do that went so wrong?
I tried to teach you to be wise and strong.
I looked forward to seeing you with family and home,
I didn't know it would be earth and stone.

I'll never see you walk down that aisle,
I'll never again see that wonderful smile.
My heart is breaking that much I can say,
I can't wait to see you on some distant day.

I am no longer afraid of dying,
Sometimes I think it's better than crying.
Our dear, Jason, one day we will be together,
And we will remain like that forever and ever.                         
***************************************************
             
For parents whose child has died, time does so little except
to continuously remind us of exactly how much we have lost.
               
Jason could not wait to turn 21....And he never did....
Thanks to his friends for always leaving Jason a Heineken...
You do not get over it. You just get through it. You don't get by it,
because it is everywhere. It does not get better. It just gets
different. Each and everday...GRIEF PUTS ON A NEW FACE
********************************************************
        Our hearts are deeply and mortally wounded for life
********************************************************
                           
              S E N D   T H E   B E S T
                                                
We lost our child, our beautiful and loving son.

                                                        
                          THE MENTION OF HIS NAME
The mention of Jason's name may bring tears to my eyes, but 
never fails to bring a smile to my heart and music to my ears.
            
If you really are my friend, let me hear the beautiful sound of his 
name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.
******************************************************
We miss you, Jason, more each day for life is not the same. To 
Queen of Heaven we do visit, placing flowers there with care.
But no one knows our heartache when we turn and HAVE TO
LEAVE YOU THERE. We speak your name with pride, reliving 
our memories of you by our side. God has you in his keeping,
we have you in our hearts.
       WE'LL LOVE YOU, JASON, FOREVER!!!

As I write this, I still cannot believe Jason is dead. I still cannot believe
this is how his life turned out. No one can imagine when they first hold
their newborn baby that this joyful moment would, down the road,
lead into the worse possible scenerio: DEATH. Parents still worry 
about their children long after they are buried. The parent/protector
doesn't just end with the funeral. Our lives are tied up in the what 
ifs and the whys and the constant thoughts of Jason's last moments
alive, alone on the pavement that we are doing all we can to just
survive day after day in this nightmare called, "our life".
     
GOD BLESS YOU JASON. WE WILL LOVE YOU
 UNTIL THE DAY WE DIE. BE AT PEACE MY 
                 SON . YOU WERE THE BEST.
  
                         LATER  J